weeds

2008
brooklyn, ny

yeah, so i grew a marijuana plant in my bedroom in 2008, on the windowsill like it was an ordinary plant—except it was six feet tall and smelled very strongly of the ganj. its name was mortimer. (i name all my plants except my vegetables, because it's fucked up to name your food.) this plant...it was very nice to look at for a while, as shown here. however, it was probably way more trouble than it was worth, because, again, it was like six feet tall, it was useless for any practical purpose because it wasn't a female plant (those are the only ones you can smoke), it grew these little white flowers that would shake pollen fucking everywhere, and, most crucial to the point, it was infested with spider mites.

once it was established in my mind that it was not ideal to have a giant, dirty weed next to my bed, i took it into the shower and hacked it to pieces with some kitchen shears, bagged it and threw it out. sorry, mortimer. but, again, for a time, it was lovely to behold and smell.